Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
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