The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
