to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I am spending my child support on dildos
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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