Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
