Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
