I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
