He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
