My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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