Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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