It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
