Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
