Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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