how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
