Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize