A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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