looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize