Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
