I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
