you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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