please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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