This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
