Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
