I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
