Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
