A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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