The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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