He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
