i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
