He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
