pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
