I accidentally burped into my bong.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Randomize
