idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
