The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
i think my cat just said my name.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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