clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
