At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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