I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
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