Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
