I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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