He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I love having hate sex.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
