its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
