absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
