When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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