I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
