What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
be right there i have to get my cape
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
