So drunk its hurt
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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