a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
