So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
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do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
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I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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