We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
50% drunk capacity currently
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize