It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
