i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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