Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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