idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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