I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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