how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
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I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
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Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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