Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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