we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
