Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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