the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
