Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize