The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
