He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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