Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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