I murdered the dance floor call the cops
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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