babies were throwing up all over the place
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
