He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
